RANT;
Every time something seems to be going right for me, I manage to mess it up and let it go. I don’t know why it’s in my ability to always destroy something that’s always going to have an amazing outcome.
Why do I destroy everything I touch or interact with? Is it because I’m not good enough, or is it because I make it awkward? Or is it because I choose to just ignore the matter instead of taking it like a woman and facing reality and its consequences?
I really need to grow up. They say age is nothing but a number…. which I for one, find amazingly true but also, false. I act like my age towards some situations, but majority of the time, I’m a kid that really needs to grow and mature.
It’s one of my worst faults for always ignoring something I don’t want to happen. I’m always scared. I’m scared of what others will perceive me as, yet during my confidence boosts, I’m fearless and do anything. I’m scared of the future and those who will be around me…. yet, I’m also scared of the past that I can’t let go of
A Drop in the Ocean - Ron Pop
A drop in the ocean
A change in the weather
I was praying that you and me might end up together
It’s like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert
But I’m holding you closer than most ‘cause you are my heaven
The Vampire Diaries marathon & I’m in season 3. My heart is breaking while listening to this song and watching the phone scene.
I’ve been replaying this non-stop and crying….
The thing is….
I think I can’t date anyone from school cause they’re jailbates… unless you’re 18, come at me bro. (jk)
But, seriously, I need someone mature enough.
I’m gonna be 20 next year…. I’m gonna be 2 decades old…
DANG.
I wish I was pretty.
Pretty enough to get notice.
Insecurities running through my head. Not good for the new year………..
Day 1 of 366:
Got my first criticism of the year from the relative that always makes me feel bad about how I look. I don’t get it. Why? Why do you always have to put me down during family parties? I’m learning how to love myself more this year, yet you bring this upon me?
Spent the New Years @ Fontana at my Tita Beck’s new house. Just watched TV in the couch the whole day dressed cutely.
Also, choir songs are just literally replaying in my head & I can’t stop dancing.
Ate a bunch of junk food, but heck, I don’t really care anymore. But I wanna start eating healthy again.
Ube makapuno cake FTW. Seriously.
There was so many highlights this year:
- Competition season with Infusion
- Debut prep & DEBUT
- Senior Year
- Making it in ASB & making Infusion & Choir PRESIDENT
- Became a better dancer & performer overall.
- Losing so many friends and feeling alone.
- Gaining so many different, diverse friends and learned who my true best friends are that I will never let go of.
- To be in-love(like) with a significant other, but also the heartbreak
2012, you’re my year. It’s definitely going to be another growth year since you’re gonna offer me more experiences and memories because I will be starting a new chapter of my life once I graduate on June 7th.
But, 2012, you’re “ME” year; It’s gonna be all about loving myself & improving myself.
Resolutions will be posted tomorrow.
But, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE.
Spontaneous picnic date w/ the Power Couples;
Had a really fun day with them 5. After choir practice, went to Destinie’s, then mall, then park with them PC & had a random photoshoot. Then Johanna’s house.
I love how we’re planning our futures together. Did I tell you guys that I love them & I’m never letting them go…? YEAH, NEVER.
Application for the Power Couple replacement is on-going.
I’m the only one that’s partnerless.
WANTED: A boy for me to complete the Power Couples again.
Only requirements: Make me happy & must get along with the other 5 :D
Seriously.
